It's that time, people. In two days, democracy American-style will be kickin' it once again! Can you feel the passion, the raw, unbridled excitement? I sure can!
On Tuesday November 7th, Americans everywhere will have an opportunity to choose which millionaire from one of our TWO (2) fully functioning, well-financed political parties will be elected to the House of Representatives and Senate. Now this won't surprise you, but I feel that the American political system is simply a facade for real democracy. Sure, we get to vote, that's kind of nice. On the surface, the freedom to vote makes me feel warm and fuzzy. In all seriousness, I confess I get goosebumps every time I step into the voter's booth. I think of how many people fought and died for what I am doing, for the freedom to vote. The ideal of democracy truly moves me. I also think of how many oppressed people there are in the world who would love to have the power to change their rulers through a democratic election.
But if you dig a little deeper, the election picture in this country is not quite as pretty. If the ideal of democracy is the pristine glow of a newfallen snow on New York City, the political reality is the grimy melange of dirt, garbage, and slush that comes two days later. Let's examine. With a handful of exceptions, the average American voter has only two realistic options, Candidate A, a Democrat, or Candidate B, a Republican. Sometimes we have Candidate C, an Independent, who is often someone like Senator Lieberman or former NH Senator Bob Smith, who lost his or her own party's primary and wants a second bite at the election apple. Sometimes candidates run unopposed, so there is no choice at all.
The reason for the limited choice of political parties and candidates in this country is because it takes mucho $$$$ to run for elective office. You need a lot of cash to create slick negative ads, to hire and fund a competent staff, and to run an overall campaign for office. Any political party who could offer a viable third or fourth choice to American voters and a progressive approach to important issues like energy, foreign policy, and national security, just do not have the financing to be competitive. So we are stuck with Millionaire A, who doesn't believe in a woman's right to choose, gay marriage, or funding stem cell research, but favors the death penalty, and the war in Iraq; or Millionaire B, who is pro choice (but really doesn't want to discuss this issue very much), possibly against the death penalty in some cases, but not all cases, is for gay marriage but only if the law allows it, might be in favor of stem cell research under certain limited circumstances (which we don't really need to discuss now, do we?) and was for the war in Iraq but is now against it because it's not going so well.
Some choice. And once elected, whoever wins is beholden to the special interests who funded his or her campaign and the powerful lobbyists who come a-callin' each and every day to get their Piece of the Pie. Whether it's the oil lobby, the corn lobby, the NRA, the Trial Lawyer's lobby, the pro-Israel lobby, the Chinese government lobby, or the AARP, every elected official is beholden to someone because of the incredible amount of money it takes to run and win an election in these United States of America. The occasional exception applies to the independently wealthy multi-millionaire or "alternative" Jesse Ventura type, who doesn't want or need to accept money from anyone during a campaign. But how many Ross Perots or Jesse Venturas are actually running things? Those free riders don't tend to be too successful. (Btw is Jesse still in office, I have no idea)
And I could write a book on the dirty tactics, smear campaigns, negative ads, and politics of personal destruction that have turned elections in this country into a blood sport. Gerrymandering, negative attacks, no viable third party, bullshit staged public appearances -- the whole thing is utterly nauseating to me. Accordingly, I try not to think too often about how far removed we are from true democracy, where popular, innovative ideas could have a real chance to prevail (um, like getting the fuck OFF of our dependency on oil so we can get the hell out of the Middle East and stop sucking Saudi Arabia's oil teat). In a real democracy, people would have a true opportunity to effect real change in this country. You wouldn't have candidates taking cautious positions on important issues for fear of rocking the boat too much and not getting re-elected. You wouldn't have lobbies and corporations dictating election results.
Seriously, is it any wonder that the voter turnout in American elections is so terrible?
And of course, the above assumes that your vote is even counted. That's not always the case, as the events of the 2000 and 2004 elections will attest. Those elections cast a bright light on a dirty, embarrassing little secret: sometimes your vote DOESN'T count in the United States of America. Just ask African Americans in some counties in Ohio.
Let's face it, what we really have here is an oligarchy. Don't look it up, here's a definition:
Oligarchy: "[A] form of government where most or all political power effectively rests with a small, elite segment of society (typically the most powerful, whether by wealth, family, military strength, or political influence)."
For the most part, it's the elites who run this country and who hold all the political power, whether by pedigree, family connections or background, or sheer wealth. We have democracy by the few, for the few. Yes, there are a few exceptions. How many of them can you count?
So where does that leave us? Oh yes, Tuesday's election. Rumor has it that the inept Democratic Party finally has an opportunity to retake control of Congress because of the Republican implosion. Woopteefriggin' Doo! More gridlock ahead, can't wait.
The only upside of this is that this election will hopefully demonstrate that the high and mighty Republicans, with all of their smarmy, hypocritical moralizing about Clinton's sexual misdeeds, are full of shit themselves and the voters know it. Their glass house has a crack in it. Here's a little scripture for you Republicanos. Have you ever heard the Bible line about taking the log out of your own eye before you tell your neighbor to remove the speck in his?
Now, with the full understanding that our system is less than perfect and not a true democracy, as an American citizen who is hoping for the best result we can have under our current system, here is my short list of a-holes I hope to see unemployed in January 2007:
1. George Allen (R-VA)
He's maccaca and he needs to go, pronto. Spitting on an ex-wife. Having your posse rough up a blogger/protester. There are so many stories about what a prick this guy is, it's amazing they didn't come out sooner. I will be very happy not to see his smarmy, know-it-all mug on my television anymore.
2. Rick Santorum (R-PA)
Another moralizing a-hole you couldn't shut up when Clinton was President. Idiotic statements about homosexuality and intelligent design. This guy really likes himself and his self-righteousness is unparalleled. He was so far up Bush's ass when we invaded Iraq that you couldn't see him anymore. But he's been awfuwwy qwiet since the Iraq war started going down the toilet and Mr. Murtha got his panties all in a bunch. Later, asshole.
3. Joe Lieberman (D/I/R-CT)
Sorry Joe, I can't respect any politician who games the system by switching parties when he loses a primary. You're a decent guy but you were wrong on Iraq and an apologist for the President at a crucial time. Time to pay the piper.
4. Arnold Schwarzenegger (R-CA)
I hope this little experiment is over, but I have a feeling that like the Terminator, you are going to keep coming back until we develop the technology to send someone back in time, to the year 2000, to stop you from winning the first time. And while our time-traveler is at it, maybe he can visit Florida and fix some of those hanging chads so that the person we elected, Al Gore, actually has his votes counted.
5. Jim Talent (R-MO)
I don't know how you can be trailing in an election with a name like "Talent" but you look a little too much like a school principal for my taste. You're also another one who backed the wrong horse on Iraq who is now running as fast as he can away from our good President. Run Forrest, Run!!!
6. Lynn Swann (R-PA)
Lynn, in your heyday I hated the Pittsburgh Steelers because they kept beating the Raiders in important games. That's all I have to say about that. I hope you lose. (Two Forrest Gump references in one entry -- how about that?)
7. Robert Menendez (D-NJ) and Thomas Kean (R-NJ)
New Jersey, is this the best you can do? For crying out loud, I can't stand either one of these guys. They both suck, and I want to punch my t.v. everytime I see one of their ridiculous negative ads. I'm not even going to put their pictures up. Someone should take both of their heads and whack them together a la Moe Howard in The Three Stooges, so we can have a "do over."
First McGreevey and then these two chooches. New Jersey, you're on a roll!
8. Bob Corker (R-TN)
I do not like and will not condone ANYONE who uses a political ad that demeans, criticizes, taunts, or disrespects a political candidate who visits the Playboy Mansion. Ever! Corker, you are clearly not in touch with your male political base and that alone disqualifies you from holding political office. Get lost.
9. George Bush (R-TX)
You were elected twice under questionable circumstances and have acted like you won both elections in a landslide. You favor loyalty over competence in the people who work under you. You are stubborn to a fault. You fucked up Iraq and Katrina. You are beholden to the oil industry. You refuse to admit it when you are wrong. Nothing personal, it's just time to go.
What? He's not running? He gets to stay in office for two more years? Oh. Okay, forget that last one.
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