Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Get Your Dirty Hands Off My Stash, Coppers!


And now for a story about personal freedom that really touches the heart. Dennis Saunders is a 59 year-old Californian who was just released from prison after being convicted of secretly videotaping a woman and teenage girl. Dennis Saunders likes porn. I mean, REALLY likes porn. He likes porn so much that prior to his arrest, he'd accumulated a collection comprising 500 pornographic movies and 250 magazines, a truly enviable pornucopia of naughtiness. One report values Dennis' collection at $10,000. (Try selling that at Sotheby's.)

Shocker: after they arrested Dennis, the police confiscated all of his porn and whoops! never returned it. Not surprisingly, now that he's out of jail, Dennis is suing the Marin County police department to get his porn collection back.

Sorry, I have to come down on the libertarian side of this. What the hell does someone's (ginormous) porn library have to do with being arrested for "Peeping Tom" activities? Absolutely nuthin'! (Say it again!) They're completely unrelated. Dennis went to jail and has now paid his debt to society. I'm sure he regrets what he did and won't do it again. (Ha ha, oh that's funny...) So for the love of all that is holy, I say please let Dennis Saunders have his porn back! Are we not a country of laws? Do we not value individual rights and the private delights of personal freedom? If we don't protect Dennis' rights, how will we protect our own? If Dennis doesn't get his porn back, it won't be long before the gubmint invades OUR homes, searches OUR computers and bookshelves, and takes away OUR porn! Is that the kind of country YOU want to live in? Is it? No, I don't think so.

Stand up then! Stand up against this egregious violation of civil rights! Stand up for Dennis! Stand up for porn! Stand up for FREEDOM!



p.s. Dennis, if you happen to read this manifesto in support of you, I take donations. Wink wink.

2 comments:

ollie1976 said...

I agree-give the man back his porn-hell, he invested so much into it he should have it back.
-Jen

Tim said...

Amen sister.