The Art of Compromise

Since I was a kid, I've always loved gadgets. I think it started back in 1974, with the Cap'n Crunch Seadog Spy Kit that I ordered from Quaker once I'd collected enough box tops. The thing kicked serious ass. It had a little whistle on the front, and a reflective mirror, sundial, compass, and Morse code embossed on the inside. It was so damn cool. Here's a picture of it and the back of the box you had to order it from:

Okay, so that small hunk of blue plastic looked a lot more impressive to my six year-old eyes than it does now. I waited six weeks for it to come in the mail, and when it finally arrived, I was ecstatic. I fell in love with the blue wonder, and I took it with me everywhere I went. Outside, I held the sundial compass up to the sun to see if I could tell the time of day. Then I'd blow S.O.S.'s with the built-in whistle for no apparent reason. It was my favorite toy ever -- I felt like a real spy, which is what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Then I lost the fucking thing. One day, after I'd stopped playing with it for awhile, I got up and couldn't find it. I turned my parents' house upside down (much like my search for the Norelco, although on a far larger scale). I looked in my room, my closet, my toy stash, Sister J.'s toy stash, the garage, my Dad's work bench, my parents' closets, their cars, everywhere. Nada. After two months of mourning, I gathered enough strength to move on. Occasionally, I'd pick up the search again, like a possessed robot that someone suddenly switched on. I'd be putting on a coat, or taking my shoes off, and all of a sudden my eyes would glaze over, and I'd start rummaging through the closet again, something I'd done 100 times before. I was just as stubborn then as I am now. I never found it, but I never forgot it either. She's the one who got away.

My love of gadgets has continued through the years. Now that I work for a living, it's all I can do to keep myself from buying the latest and greatest tech toys that come out every 30 seconds. Self-control is not my strong suit when it comes to electronic funtasy. Today, like many other gadget-hounds, I was anxiously following Macworld 2008, the annual Apple conference where Steve Jobs and Co. release the latest Apple products to the public. It's become a big event, and now a favorite media pastime is to try and predict what kinds of new products are coming out. Last year it was the iPhone, which blew everyone away. This year, I was hoping they'd announce a new subnotebook, a small laptop. I have a 15-incher (sadly, we're talkin' laptops here), and for the longest time, I've wanted something smaller and lighter to carry around when I travel, or to take around the city. The one I have now is a little too big and too heavy. Apple hasn't come out with a ultraportable in years, and there's a pretty good demand for one.

So I dutifully logged on to Gizmodo this afternoon at 12:00 sharp, waiting to hear what Santa Steve Jobs brought me for Christmas. For the next hour and a half, I followed the liveblog from Macworld, refreshing the site every couple of minutes. First, they announced this thing called Time Capsule, which is a combination wireless router and 500 GB hard drive that you can use to back up your computer. Pretty cool but not very exciting. Then they came out with some additions to Apple TV and told us that we're now going to be able to rent movies from iTunes to watch on the computer, t.v., iPod, what-have-you. Okay, a little better, but... meh, I don't rent too many movies. Then they came out with some new software for the iPhone, which I don't have and therefore does nothing for me. Up until that point, Macworld was kind of downer. No big revelations.

Then finally, FINALLY they announced this beauty (pics courtesy of Gizmodo):


And it was love at first sight. MacBook Air. .76" thin. Only 3 pounds. 13.3" screen. Full size keyboard. Small enough to fit in a manila envelope, it's the thinnest laptop ever made. When I saw it, I drooled on my desk. I wanted it. I wanted it bad. But, as with most pretty things, you need to look under the hood to see what's hiding beneath that hot exterior. And when I dug a little deeper, I found that all was not perfect with the sexy MacBook Air. No, it was not.

To save space to make MBA so thin, they had to cut some corners. Problemo #1: it only has 80GB of memory. That sounds like a lot, but it's not when you consider that most new laptops and even some iPods today have nearly twice that much. Problemo #2: the damn battery's built in, like the one in the iPod. It's not replaceable. This means if your battery burns out or you need a new one for some reason, you'll have to send your computer to Apple or go to the Apple Store to have a new one put in. Total pain in the ass. Problemo #3: there's no ethernet port. If you want to use an ethernet cable, which is what most hotels have instead of WiFi, you'll need to bring an adapter. Problemo #4: there's no optical drive. This means that you can't play a CD or DVD on it. So if you're traveling and want to watch Cannonball Run IV on your computer, you're SOL and you'll have to buy the new external drive they sell for the MBA, which costs $99. Most people won't want to cart around a separate drive when they travel.

So there we are. A hot and sexy (and damn expensive) package with many fine qualities, but also with serious flaws. And isn't that true about most things in life? Isn't it true that you never get EVERYTHING you want in one package? That you always have to do without certain things? That you need to compromise in order to get something good in return? There's a lesson here, isn't there? Love something unconditionally. Accept and appreciate the good qualities and be tolerant about the bad ones. Compromise.

Thank you, Apple. Thank you for teaching me this timeless lesson, once again. But I'm sorry, I do believe I'll be keeping my cash in my pocket this go-round. The MBA sure is purdy, and she gets my mojo a'risin' alright. But I've got a loyal PowerBook G4 at home. She's heavier and bigger than I'd like, and a little long in the tooth these days, but she's still got her memory and she puts out like nobody's business. Truth be told, I've been taking her for granted lately, lusting after some hot, thin, piece of aluminum hardware who will likely disappoint me. Is that whore MBA really worth throwing away the loyal computer relationship I've got going with my PowerBook? I don't think so. I feel so guilty about lusting in my heart for a smaller, thinner computer. I have so much to lose, and I never realized it before. So you can keep your tight little booty, MacBook Air, I'm holding on to my PowerBook.

Cuz I'm a stubborn Seadog who wants it all.