Gettin' Culchid

I've lived in New York City for sixteen years now and one thing that always embarrasses me is how little I've taken advantage of the cultural aspects of the city. Sure, I visit the Met, MoMa, the Guggenheim, and the Whitney every so often. I've gone to plenty of concerts at MSG and seen my share of Yankee and Knicks games. I'm talking about the theater. I live in one of the centers of the theatrical universe, and until recently, I could count on one and a half hands the number of times I've gone to a Broadway show or seen an Off-Broadway play. It's never sat right. It's always felt like a wasted opportunity, like I've been sitting in a candy store and have never sampled the KitKat or Hershey's or Whatchmacallits in front of my face because I know I can have them anytime I want them. But in the back of my mind, it's always bothered me, because you just never know when they're going to close the candy store. Who knows where life will take me? I have no plans to leave the city anytime soon, but with all that theatrical greatness sitting right down the street, it makes no sense to just blow it off.

Well, this summer a lot has changed. A couple of months ago, I saw the play The Country Girl with Morgan "Easy Reader" Freeman, Peter Gallagher, and Frances McDormand. A few weeks ago, I coattailed on to a summer associate outing at my law firm and saw the musical In the Heights, which won the Tony this year. And a few nights ago, KLB and I went to see Spring Awakening, which won the Tony last year. A veritable cornucopia of theatrical goodness. Oh and sprinkled in there was Pearl Jam at MSG (though PJ's awesomeness was slightly offset by the fact that I watched the concert from a corporate box; yes, I have completely sold out); and two shows in Vegas, Cirque du Soleil's Love, which was performed to a Beatles theme, and Le Reve, which was this bizarre acrobatic show performed in water. I can't do them justice by trying to explain them, so check out the linked sites for more info. I'll just say that the people who perform those acrobatic shows are in unbelievable shape -- hold-onto-a-pole-with-your-body-perpendicular-shape -- and it's now my fantasy to date a female Cirque du Soleil performer. So... let's leave it there.

All this culture has given me a new appreciation for creative performers: actors, singers, acrobats, and the arts in general. There is some amazing talent out there, and my awe at what these people do is based on the fact that I could never see myself doing it. Judge Wise notwithstanding, I don't like being the center of attention, and if I had to sing or act on a stage, I'd probably need a regular diaper change. And acrobatics? Are you kidding? I get vertigo on a subway platform. When I saw these people flipping each other around, dropping 4 stories into a pool of water, somersaulting off stages like it was nothing, my head almost exploded. You could not pay me enough to do that. Any of it. I can barely tread water. Which makes me appreciate and respect what they do even more.

But let me talk for a second about Spring Awakening, which I saw last week. Let me make it clear that I'm not a musical guy. Unless there's some rock and roll in there, or some solid humor, I ain't gonna like it. I'll sit through it if you bring me, but I won't buy the tickets myself, and I'll probably bitch afterwards. This is why the extent of my musical experiences have been with shows that already have established music. I've gone to, and enjoyed, Tommy and Mama Mia. I probably would have seen the Billy Joel one too -- what was it, Movin' Out? -- if the reviews hadn't sucked so much. I'm still waiting for a Led Zeppelin musical.

Anywho, when we walked in to Spring Awakening, I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know a damn thing about the show, what it was supposed to be about, or even what kind of music it featured. It could have been classical or country for all I knew. We took our seats -- which were great, btw, first row, Mezzanine, thanks to KLB -- and I looked down at the set and didn't even see an orchestra. It was fairly minimalist, just a brick wall that looked like the side of a school or a church, and a few band instruments set up at the back of the stage. Ohhhhh, this is going to suck, I thought to myself. Tony or no Tony.

Let me tell you something, I could not have been more wrong. The show friggin' ROCKED. In fact, it's the best thing I've seen in a long time. Why? Cuz it had a few of my favorite things: a sense of humor, a decent plot (though, like most musicals, it was a tad cliche), a deeper message about life, and oh yes, sex, swear words, simulated masturbation (I obviously prefer the real kind), and nudity. What more do you need in a musical? Hell, what more do you need in life? I won't tell you what it's actually about, but if you're curious, you can read more about it here.

But what really made it great was the music. Unlike Tommy and Mama Mia, the songs in SA were totally original. And I liked nearly every one of them. So much, in fact, that days later, they're still on my mind and... and... boy, how do I say this? I've even... thought about... downloading the soundtrack from iTunes. Yes, I know. I swear I'm not gay. I just really liked the music. Here are two of the better songs, the first of which I've now adopted as my office voice mail message:



And this, from the boy's side of the equation:



Dang y'all, that's some good singin'.

If you happen to be in New York, check it out. You won't be disappointed.