If you're like me, and you like to work out in the nude, but don't really want to do it at home, well, get thee on a plane to the Netherlands forthwith. Yes, at the gym Fitworld, in the small town of Heteren, you too can pump it up and work it out in all your naked glory. Don't get too excited though. So far, they're only allowing it once a week, on Naked Sunday. The rest of the week, you're just going to have to get by with your gym clothes ON.
Holland truly is a country of pioneers. Legal drugs, legal prostitution (The Nicer the Nice, the Higher the Price), and now legal nude gym workouts. As big a fan as I am of nudity in general, in all seriousness, the benefits of riding a cycle machine or lifting weights in the raw really escapes me. It actually seems a little dangerous. Drop a weight on your foot and it's painful, sure. Drop a weight on your twig and/or berries, and it's please-kill-me-now-to-stop-the-agony painful. And is naked aerobics or power yoga truly feasible? All that bouncing and jostling and rebounding may burn a few extra calories, but is it really worth the risk of permanent infertility? One would think not.
Oh, don't get me started on the obvious hygiene issues. Normal gyms are disgusting enough, with sweaty, ignorant slobs either not using a towel on the seats and benches, or failing to wipe off their stinky sweat when they're done. And the "Can I work in with you" b.s. I can't even imagine how grotesque it would be to have to sit down on a seat where some old dude (or young dude, or a woman for that matter) just had his or her bare asscrack. And no, the fact that the person put down a piece of cloth 1/4 inch thick before they sat down, or applied a disposable seat cover, doesn't make one bit of difference to me. It also would not be too much fun to have to watch someone's tired, wrinkled ass scrunch and clench with every leg spin and weight lift. The thought of being forced to watch someone do naked squats in particular makes my stomach churn.
All in all, this nude gym idea is truly half-assed. (Pun intended). Just look at those schlubs in the picture. How would you like to be next on one of those cycle machines? I think I'm going to go take a shower now. I feel dirty.
5 comments:
I'm sure you would feel differently if you went to a gym where men had to wear their clothes, but women didn't.
Sister T.,
That gym is called Fantasyland. I go there at least 1200 times a week.
Please ... I'm your sister. The last thing I want to hear about are your fantasies.
At the advanced old age of fifty five, I can say I have no interest in letting anyone have a gander at my flab, thank you very much. Although, I must disagree... there's nothing half assed about it, T. That's the whole ass right there in Holland. The whole ass.
Now Arlo, we both know you're not 55. You're a svelte 30-something or thereabouts. I'm going to have to update this thing soon so I don't have to keep looking at that picture every time I log on. Btw: I think you would quite enjoy a trip to the Netherlands. Amsterdam, specifically. I almost remember my trip there in 2001.
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