Et Tu, Alec?

Dude, you know I think you're hilarious. That's why, last year, I officially declared August 31st to be Alec Baldwin Appreciation Day. I watched my second official episode of "30 Rock" last night (I'd watch it more, but I'm almost never home that early on a Thursday night, and I don't have Tivo), and you totally killed. Perfect role for you. Then I saw you on Letterman the other night, and you were your usual sardonic, whhhhitty, inside-joke self. I just can't get enough of you on the tube.

But off screen, you are a sorry mess, my well-coiffed friend. First, there was that picture of you ranting to a cop the day Cory Lidle crashed his plane into a building on the Upper East Side.


People were dead and all you cared about was getting access to your apartment. Not nice, but I let it go.

Now there's a voice mail making the rounds of you going off on your 11 year-old daughter about her failure to take your calls. YOUR calls. You're Alec Baldwin, dammit! Here it is:



I'm not a parent, but your rant seems a tad over the top for a relatively minor transgression. Seriously, you sound like the hardass you played on Glengarry Glen Ross. It would have been Oscar worthy (and funny as hell) if it had been a fictional portrayal of an angry, narcissistic father who has been subjected to repeated legal kicks to the balls by an ex-wife in a vicious custody battle. But it's real life, and I just don't think calling your young daughter a "little pig" on a voice mail is the way to go. And if you were going to call her names, don't do it on a voice mail for goodness sake! We live in YouTubeland now. One false word, and BAM, you've got the YouTube tattoo on your ass. Talk to Nappy Imus, George "Macaca" Allen, Britney "Go Commando" Spears, Joe "Articulate" Biden, and John "Bomb Iran" McCain. Elite company.

So, let's calm down, my angry, talented friend. We're here for you. You're in a safe place. To show my good faith, let's leave things on a positive note with this happy video that clearly demonstrates your wondrous talents and why you won the Golden Globe.



Life's short, lighten up. I don't want to have to cancel Alec Baldwin Appreciation Day this year. Vaya con Dios, amigo.

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BREAKING NEWS:

Mr. Baldwin's public response, as posted on his website:

“Although I have been told by numerous people not to worry too much, as all parents lose their patience with their kids, I am most saddened that this was released to the media because of what it does to a child . . . I’m sorry, as everyone who knows me is aware, for losing my temper with my child. I have been driven to the edge by parental alienation for many years now. You have to go through this to understand. (Although I hope you never do.) I am sorry for what happened. But I am equally sorry that a court order was violated, which had deliberately been put under seal in this case.”

Back to you, Wolf.