I find fewer things more asinine than news reporters going on and on about the clothes the First Lady is wearing, describing them with breathless fascination, as if she's Angelina Jolie on the red carpet, doing catwalk turns on her way into the Oscars. (I actually find that stupid too.)
"The First Lady is wearing a mustard-colored dress with black fringe, designed by Hari Kamemberto, her hair is swept back to reveal white fondulac pearls from the Metazoan era, culled from Neanderthal oysters that were found in an underground cave in Malawi. Doesn't she look GOR-GEOUS???!!!" Ugh.
But wait. Let's turn this around and see if I like it any better when it's about my favorite person: Me.
Today, your blogger T. is sporting an eye-catching ensemble of Banana Republic khakis, tinged just the right shade of 40-something brown-beige, two utility pockets in back, two in front; and a navy blue V-neck sweater crafted by that edgy new designer who's all the rage with hip, young Angelenos on Melrose Avenue: J. CREW. Yes, that one. Underneath his sweater, T. bears a familiar staple, a black t-shirt, handstitched by longstanding American clothier The Gap, to mask that hairy chest of his. And finally, just LOOK at the ACCESSORIES T. has on today! A saddle-brown Armani belt I'm told he bought in London twelve years ago during a salesgirl flirtation gone awry. Rather than ask out the sexy strumpet he'd been chatting up for twenty minutes in a boutique clothing store, T. chickened out and, in a pathetic attempt to show he wasn't a total loser, purchased the overpriced Armani belt he's wearing today, one that will forever remind him of his remarkable gutlessness all those years ago. On his size 9 1/2 feet, T.'s got on a pair of John Varvatos/Converse hybrid canvas sneakers, colored a trendy military green. We don't know what undies he's got on, but rumor has it he's partial to black Calvin Klein boxer briefs with a button fly. Wink wink.
Nope. Still stupid.
Another thing I think is absurd is the overzealous, archaic protocol always accorded the Queen of England when dignitaries visit, as if she's an elevated form of human being deserving of special treatment. One would think we've moved beyond this medieval silliness, but apparently we haven't. Indeed, the talk of the town this past week was that Michelle Obama, Woman of the People, had committed a faux pas by, gasp!, TOUCHING the Queen. Oh, me oh my! Monkeys and jumping jacks! NOBODY TOUCHES THE QUEEN!
Here's Jon and John to address both issues with the mocking satire they deserve:
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | M - Th 11p / 10c | |||
| The Poisonous Queen | ||||
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