Confessions of a Political Junkie

It's time I came clean. I can't quit, man. I didn't want this blog to be all about politics, but that's what's happened lately. I know that writing about politics is a dead-end street. I know it has no future. There are plenty of political blogs out there. People don't want to hear me rant about my personal political views. I know that I'm either (a) preaching to the converted, or (b) making the sound of a tree falling in the forest with no one around to listen. Do I still make a sound? Hell if I know. So why, why, why do I do it? Because I just can't stop. I can't stop writing about politics, political shenanigans, the abuse of power and the unbridled hypocrisy that goes with it. I've got the fev-ah, man and it won't leave! It won't go! I want more, I need more. More news. More sound bites. More personal attacks on character. More slurry from the bottom of the privacy barrel to feed my appetite. I gots ta have it!

So... dear reader, more likely than not, you'll be enduring more politically-themed entries than you'd like until November 4th. For I admit it. I have a problem. I am a political junkie and I cannot -- I WILL NOT -- stop. I know you're sick and tired. So am I. I can't stand myself. I want this election to be over already, you have no idea. I want to get on with my life, writing about metrosexual crapola, why murses and men go well together, the angst of the single life, all the usual important stuff. But the political season keeps getting in my way. We're about to elect a very powerful group of people to run our country, and it's the first time in four years that we, Americans, have a chance to rectify our past wrongs in twice electing an idiot for President, and I have to let it out, I have to let it ALLLLLL out.

What's addicting about this election is the people running: Obama, Biden, McCain, Palin. Each is compelling in his or her own own way. Each has a story to tell, and it's not a boring story. McCain the Prisoner-of-War, the post-Charles Keating mea culpa reformed politician; Biden, the gaffe-prone plagiarist, the aneurysm-survivor who lost his first wife in a car accident; Palin, the small-town girl from Wasilla with Big World dreams but no passport stamps; and Obama, the smooth operator who has Tefloned his way to the precipice of becoming the first black President. It's easily the most compelling Presidential election I've ever witnessed. There are fantastic story arcs here and we're about to reach the climax. How will it end? How??

But it's not just the stories. It's the psychology of the campaign that interests me. The tactics of persuasion both sides are using to convince people to vote their way. Lying about the other side as a political tactic is nothing new. It's existed since John Adams ran against Thomas Jefferson back in the 1800s. But since the 1980s, when Republican operative Lee Atwater worked Michael Dukakis over with Willie Horton ads and hilarious replays of him riding around in a tank like a 6 year-old with a new toy, it's been elevated to an art form. Since Dukakis, the powerful strategy of "going negative" and destroying an opponent by any means necessary has greased the path to political victory. Rumors of George Bush Sr. having an affair, John McCain fathering a black baby out of wedlock, the Swift Boating of John Kerry, all stepping stones to new power.

Yes, we are living in an era of political character assassination. Why do they do it? Because it works. Human nature dictates that when people hear enough bad things about someone and they're repeated often enough, people will believe them, regardless of whether the statements are true or not. It seems ludicrous now, but back in 2000, people actually believed that John McCain may have fathered a black baby out of wedlock. (The black baby is the sine qua non of political arrows. No one, it seems, can withstand the dreaded black baby rumor.) The truth, which no one cared about, was that he and his wife had ADOPTED a baby from another part of the world. I think she's on her way to college now. Anyway, after besting Bush in New Hampshire, McCain lost the South Carolina Primary and his Presidential campaign was over soon after that. And we got Bush as the Republican nominee (and later President) as a result.

I bring this up because we are less than 30 days away from the election and McCain is losing. He wants to change the subject from the economy, something he's admitted he knows little about and whose fundamentals he believed a few months ago were "sound." So he's getting desperate and has said the gloves are coming off. You can bet your sweet patootie, therefore, that things are going to get U-G-L-Y (with no alibi) over the next three weeks. Even worse than they've already been. Early indications are that they're going to work the "guilt by association" angle with Obama. You can expect to hear more about Reverend Jeremiah Wright and some guy named Bill Ayres, who apparently was a "domestic terrorist" back in the 1960s when Obama was eight years old. But Obama considered Wright family and attended a fundraiser with Ayres, so it's guilt by association.

Personally, I think this strategy will blow up in McCain's face, just like his recent kabuki theater with the recent economic meltdown, where he made a big show of suspending his campaign (he didn't, really). The results of his dramatic, but ultimately fruitless, efforts were made embarrassingly clear when the bill didn't pass, due primarily to his Republican colleagues' refusal to get on board. If McCain goes the guilt-by-association route, it'll be a rocky road, because he's living in a glass mansion and Obama's shown that he's not afraid to throw a few rocks of his own. All he needs to do is bring up the Keating Scandal and McCain's going to be dealing with a bunch of shit that he's put behind him and would be better off leaving there. And I read today that McCain used to be a member of an anticommunist organization who were knee-deep in the Iran-Contra scandal in the 1980s and whose members included more than a few Nazi sympathizers. Nice. See how nasty it gets when you can't, or won't, talk about the real issues facing people? But McCain's a gambler and he's desperate, so if he keeps slipping in the polls, I think he's going to say fuck it and unleash the dogs of war. Hope he's got some armor on. He's going to need it.

Finally, a word about the VP debate. Palin certainly performed better than expected, I have to say that. Of course, I've never seen lower expectations going into a debate, so that's not saying too much. For someone who easily could be President of this country, and Commandress-in-Chief, it's daunting to think that people actually thought she might freeze up, cry, vomit, or run off the stage last week, and anything above that was a "victory." Is this how low we've sunk in our expectations of our leaders? Sad. But she handled herself well, even if she didn't answer any questions and basically gave a stump speech the entire night. It's like back when I was in college and I was taking a class I didn't like very much and so, two days before the final, I had to cram my ass off to remember as much as possible before the test. When it was over and I took home a "C," I was relieved. That doesn't change the fact that I had no business taking the class in the first place. Lack of interest breeds mediocre performance.

I find Palin distasteful for other reasons though. Putting aside her obvious lack of readiness for the most powerful job in the world, my grievance with her is she pretends to be sincere and real -- in fact, she's staking her entire personality on being "one of you" -- when she's as fake as they come. She showed it at the debate. Two examples. First, at the beginning of the debate, she asked Biden if she could call him "Joe." Biden, nice guy that he is, said "Sure." It soon became clear why she asked. Twice, she tried to use pre-crafted "zingers" against Biden that made use of his first name: Joe. In response to a question that Biden answered (unlike Ms. Lipstick, he actually tried to answer questions during the debate), Palin said "Say it isn't so, Joe." Another time she said, "There you go again, Joe," in a pathetic attempt to imitate President Reagan's similar retort to President Carter in 1980. Fake, fake, fake.

The other example came when Biden got choked up as he was describing the near-death of his son in the car accident that killed his first wife. After listening to this emotional moment, Palin, mother of five, is it? including a baby with Down's Syndrome that she carts around like a Saks Fifth Avenue bag before handing the poor child off to one of her daughters, didn't acknowledge Biden's moment at all, or even his humanity as a father. What she did instead was fly right back into her stump speech, as if nothing had happened. If you don't believe me, go watch it on YouTube. Sure, she comes off as a down-home, simple person. But she's a calculating politician, just like any other. Who are they kidding?

And they're trying to slip this bill of goods past voters by severely limiting her interviews and not allowing her to hold a single press conference before this election. It's unconscionable. McCain handpicks this woman and they won't let anyone see how smart or dumb she is, how she handles herself under pressure, how she answers legitimate questions from the populace about their plans for the country and what she's all about? What are they hiding? I'll tell you: her incompetence and remarkable lack of knowledge about the economy, foreign policy, and the world in general. Shit, even Bush gives press conferences, give the man credit. And he's no scholar. Is it "putting country first" to hide this potential-President behind two handcrafted national stump speeches (one at the RNC, one at the VP debate) and three one-on-one interviews, one of which doesn't count because it was with that right-wing hack Sean Hannity, who fed her softballs the entire time? It's totally irresponsible.

McCain gambled with her, and she paid early dividends. Now they're trying to cash out their chips before we find out that the Emperor has no clothes. Too late. I don't care what anyone says, the real Sarah Palin is the one who couldn't handle Katie Couric -- Katie fucking Couric -- without Daddy McCain by her side. And the real McCain doesn't put country first, he puts himself first by hiring the same a-holes who were responsible for starting the false rumors that he'd fathered a black child back in 2000. Why? Because he wants to win. Badly. It all comes back to psychology. Just like George W., who invaded Iraq when he didn't need to in order to avenge his father and exceed his accomplishments by taking over Iraq when his father would not, McCain wants to surpass his father's (and grandfather's) military successes by becoming President of the United States. That's all we're dealing with here. Daddy complexes. I'm sure Obama has a few of his own. After all, he grew up without a father.

Oh shit. I did it again. I started off writing about my political addiction and rather than face it head-on, I went off on another disagreeable tangent. Another bender. I feel so ashamed. I just wanted to dabble, wet my beak a little, and look what happened? I went on and on. I've got a serious problem. That's the first step, isn't it, admitting it? I need to dry out somewhere. Maybe shuffle off to Montana for a few days. How many days left now? Twenty-eight? Oh, I don't think I can wait that long for another political entry. Ooooh, there's another debate tonight, right? And one more in a week? Mmmmmm, yessss. Daddy like.