I'm glad they Tase'd him, bro. Anyone who watched the video and doesn't think that spoiled, wannabe, melodramatic, annoying fuck wasn't pandering to the cameras to promote his own douchebaggery is blind and stupid. It's laughable that this tool has now become a cause celebre for police brutality and some cop is probably going to lose his job over this. Andrew "Don't Tase Me, Bro" Meyer is a great example of the spoiled and self-absorbed pricks who currently occupy our universities on Daddy's dime. Better put more money in my 401(k), this country's going to be in the toilet in 20 years. Actually, I remember more than a few dinks like this when I was in school, so nevermind.
Speaking of douchebaggery, O.J., welcome back, my brother! For one night at least, you slept in jail, which is where you belong. How ironic that you may get more prison time for a botched robbery than for the cold-blooded murder of two people. Someone should Tase him, bro. A few times.
How petty has the United States become? The leader of Iran wants to go lay a wreath at Ground Zero and we refuse to let him. This is the international equivalent of taking our ball and going home. How silly. Yeah, he's a dick. But we've got our own dick as President, don't we? Actually, our Dick is Vice President; we've got a Bush as President. Sometimes our Dick gets inside our Bush and that's when we get an orgasm of problems, like the Iraq War, sweetheart deals for Halliburton, and the evisceration of our civil rights. But I'm digressing again. Yeah, Iran's causing problems in Iraq, Syria, and a lot of other places. But is Iran doing anything the United States hasn't done first? We've certainly caused our share of problems in other countries during our history. Here are a few examples of the places we've invaded with our armies, our CIA, and/or our money: Iran, Iraq, Nicaragua, Cuba, Mexico, Panama, Haiti, Somalia, the Philippines, Indonesia, Venezuela, Vietnam, Guatemala, El Salvador, Lebanon, Ecuador, Chile, Korea, and Cambodia. And we're criticizing Iran for meddling in other countries' affairs? Talk about the ass calling the finger stinky. They're just doing what we've been doing for the past 100 years. At least Iran stays relatively close to its own borders.
Sure they're trying to develop nuclear weapons. But we do not occupy the moral high ground in this area. We invented nuclear weapons and have thousands of them stockpiled. Chemical weapons too. And... biological weapons too. "Oh," you say, "it's okay if WE have them. We're a NICE country. We only want what's BEST for the world. Some of those other countries are BAD countries. They do BAD things." That's all a matter of perspective, folks. I don't think most of the world agrees with that point of view. Most of the world thinks George Bush is more dangerous than Osama Bin Forgotten. That's sad, and it shows you how far we've sunk. Oh and by the way, we're the only country that's ever USED nuclear weapons. And we look the other way on nuclear proliferation when countries we like acquire them. You don't hear us complaining about Israel having nuclear weapons, do you? Or India? Or Pakistan? (That last one scares me way more than Iran.) Do those countries have any more right acquire to nuclear weapons than Iran? Why exactly? Iran understands that the United States would think long and hard before it attacks a country that has nuclear weapons, so it's understandable why Iran wants them too.
I know it's not a popular view, but if Iran's nutty professor wants to visit Ground Zero and pay his respects on behalf of the Iranian people, sincere or not, we should let him. What would it cost us? Iran's younger generation is very pro-Western and is chafing under all the stupid rules instituted by Iran's religious leaders. It's only a matter of time before moderates start occupying positions of power in that country, so less, not more, separation between our countries is what's needed here. Snubbing Ahmadinejad, a democratically elected leader, only makes us look like the arrogant fucktards we've been acting like for the past seven years. And even worse, it makes that whackjob look like a victim. Smart move, America!
Besides, people shouldn't forget that Iran actually condemned the 9/11 attacks and was initially helping us in Afghanistan when we invaded six years ago. They only changed their tune after we stupidly invaded Iraq. Uh, can you blame them? How comfortable would we be if we had the Chinese Army occupying Canada and Mexico and building military bases on our borders? It's time we started putting ourselves in the shoes of the countries and leaders we say we despise. Maybe then we'll adopt a foreign policy that plans beyond the next five minutes and does more good than harm.
Damnit, Kyla Ebbert's outfit was NOT too skimpy to fly on Southwest.
Give me a friggin' break. That's what she's wearing and they throw her off a flight? Puh-leaze. There's no cleavage there and hardly any skin. Indeed, I've seen skimpier Christmas Party outfits on some of the secretaries -- I mean "assistants" -- who work in my law firm.
I'd like to know who the hell complained. It had to be a woman. Probably a busybody who reads Quilting Weekly and hasn't been laid in a decade. Damn sure no straight man groused about that outfit. Or even a gay man. Actually, check that. A gay man may have tried to have Kyla thrown off the plane for bad taste. Either way, why can't people mind their own fucking business?
I don't mean to go off on a rant here, but I'm SICK and TIRED of the anal a-holes who always play the victim and who think they can boss everyone around because their hypo-allergenic sensibilities have been offended by something that the average person doesn't give a shit about. Let's round these hypersensitive jerks up and stick them in Ethiopia for a couple of weeks and see how offended they get when they can't find any food or water. Man, these people chap my ass! And I love how the airlines pander to these Human Nerve Endings instead of doing the only thing we want them to do right: take off and land on time. And I also love how every time I fly, I NEVER sit next to someone who looks as slutty hot as Kyla Ebbert. No, instead I get Stank Canker, the 350 lb. frequent flier from Milwaukee who smells like warm salami and three-day old Cheetos.
The "Jena 6" Situation. What a clusterfuck. How does a simple assault and battery get charged as an attempted second-degree murder? That's idiotic. And how in the world does the racist beating of a white kid justify a "March for Justice" led by the Revs. Sharpton and Jackson? What about justice for the kid who got beat up? Seems to me that those protesters are overlooking that someone got their ass kicked here. According to Jackson, the little scamps who did it should only get "probation." I wonder if he'd be supporting probation if the colors in this story were reversed. I wonder how big a protest there would be if it was six white kids who attacked a black kid and put him in the hospital. Oh, it would be bigger alright, but for different reasons. They'd want a LOT of jail time and how! And The Jena 6? C'mon. We're not talkin' The Chicago Seven here. I'm just glad no one got Tase'd bro, or we'd have had ourselves a riot down there. Long way to go on race relations, pee-pull. Long way.On the bright side, at least someone's protesting something in this country. Tens of thousands dead in Iraq and hundreds of thousands murdered in Darfur and you don't hear a peep.
Fall is here, and I'm as happy as Jeremy Piven in a Catholic, all-girls high school. This is my favorite time of the year, by far -- the time of year when I really miss living in the Shire. Brisk, clean air, the leaves are changing, Halloween parties, hay rides, bobbing for apples, the whole nine yards. Down here in NYC, the perks of fall aren't quite as fantabulous, but I'll take them anyway. No more heated city stench wafting off the concrete. No more sweatin' to the oldies on the subway. No more sidewalks packed with Eurotrash and Midwesterners. A nice clear path until Thanksgiving. And we've got our outdoor beer gardens (including one that's coming to the 'Burg this month), our Spa Week, our Village Halloween Parade, our Feast of San Gennaro, and our Film Festival. Best time of the year. Speaking of which, I got myself a hankering for a lager right now.....
